BLACK TO THE BLIND

"I might wear black for four years straight."

drama and color.

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Afternoon writing session with Rinn and another friend at Starbucks. 1500 words on Witch Light. Ate a good dark chocolate and caramel bar, and iced green tea.

A dramatic thunderstorm exploded on my way to the grocery store to buy yellow pom pom flowers. Scrawls of crazy lightning in the sky. I sat in the dark car to wait out the immense downpour and worked out the whole plot synopsis for my next project. I could feel the static electricity crawling all over. Later, the sky was half a sherbet orange and half a resonant dark blue.

Now watching a documentary about Maria Callas called Living And Dying for Art and Love.

P.S. Tentatively, the oil spill is capped.

Written by phineas

July 17, 2010 at 2:58 am

a gym, maybe.

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I didn’t get around to working on Witch Light today. So, let’s focus on gratitude.

• Visited a new gym with my husband and, despite my hangups about people watching me while I exercise, I was able to envision myself feverishly exercising alongside the other women on one of those fancy elliptical machines. But only with a new workout ensemble.

• Went down to clean the litterbox and found that my husband had done most of the work already.

• Two promising books on alchemy arrived in the mail. I haven’t even had time to examine them yet.

• Discovered that I grew up near an old Indian burial ground. Explains a lot.

• Lots of berries and fruit.

• Played several games of Scrabble with my mother, and won a few. We laughed a lot.

• They might actually cap that oil spill. It’s still too early to fully hope, but I let a few rays escape nonetheless.

Written by phineas

July 13, 2010 at 3:52 am

Posted in gratitude

content.

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• My husband helping me out of bed, and giving me water. (I woke up with a back spasm.)

• A long afternoon nap.

• Eating fruit with Nilla Wafers crumbled on top.

• A husband who could stay home with me tonight, after all.

• An interesting thunderstorm that didn’t stay long.

• Misting myself down with some citrus essential oil thing called “Sunshine.”

• Starting the new draft of Witch Light in earnest.

Written by phineas

July 12, 2010 at 3:25 am

Posted in gratitude

making the skeleton.

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Working intensely on Witch Light. Right now, outlining and revising the outline. My cat’s nestled into a folded-up quilt on the couch, watching me with narrowed eyes.

“The only way to survive someone else’s destructive behaviour is to out-create it. If you don’t create out of the negative events that come your way, then you become a shell of emptiness walking. My creative juices flow when I am going through a transformation.” -Tori Amos

Written by phineas

July 9, 2010 at 10:59 pm

Posted in writing

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motivation.

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I’ve felt little motivation to eat well lately, or even to try to eat well. Fortunately, motivation is overrated.

As a writer, the idea of relying on the fickle winds of inspiration is laughable. You may as well ask me where I get my ideas. Real writers scoff at such notions. We rely instead on habit, on our commitment to our art, and sometimes brute force. Inspiration is a nice bonus, if it shows up, but we learn early on not to depend on it.

Why should lifestyle changes be any different?

Written by phineas

July 6, 2010 at 9:40 am

Posted in Uncategorized

fireworks.

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Today was a difficult-ish day, for some reason. So I suppose it is all the more important to do a gratitude list. I don’t have trouble feeling grateful for things per se, but it’s helpful for me to unpack what was useful and unique about each individual day.

• attending the Gnostic Mass and seeing my friends at the local O.T.O., including one who is left-handed like me and may be able to teach me how to knit.

• opening the blinds in my bedroom and watching the Fourth of July fireworks while lying in bed.

• eating a delicious salad with walnuts, green apples, and blue cheese.

• listening to my sister, who just got back from her honeymoon to three of the world’s most beautiful cities, tell me about priceless works of art and the green hills of Scotland.

• having a best friend in whom I can confide anything.

That’s all I can think of right now.

Written by phineas

July 5, 2010 at 2:35 am

Posted in gratitude

walking the path.

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Another great post from the efficiently-named Rob’s Magick Blog. I am going to go out on a limb and say that it is my favorite magick blog. And I read a lot of them.

It’s important to note that the tree of life is really just a model of an abstract, and not a true spatial map of the universe. Each of the ten spheres are infinite in both space and size. Each one is near to each other. And the spatial relationships are simply the order which we decided to lay them out. If you’re in Binah and moving towards Kether, Chokmah is not to your right.

Qabalah jokes crack me up. This one made me feel like I did reading Lon Milo Duquette’s Chicken Qabalah. I had the great urge to share all the funniness with someone, but in order to explain the humor, you’d have to explain the entire Qabalah.

Written by phineas

July 5, 2010 at 2:00 am

Posted in spiritual life

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