"I might wear black for four years straight."

Archive for the ‘eating better and better’ Category

light and darkness.

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Wrote 1200 words on Witch Light this afternoon. Had a three-way writing chat with Rinn and another writer. Strength in numbers. I hope the online writing group will become a regular thing.

My motivation to eat well is at a low ebb. I’m working at being good to myself nonetheless.

Image from Manly P. Hall’s Secret Teachings.


Written by phineas

July 3, 2010 at 6:52 pm


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I finally lost some weight. Some real weight. At 238.4, I am officially, solidly in the 230s.

Now, back to not lusting after results.

Written by phineas

June 30, 2010 at 4:05 pm

lust of result.

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I suspect I have polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). Basically, this means my hormones are out of whack. Doctors don’t know what causes PCOS, but it tends to run in families, as it does in mine.

PCOS contributes to obesity, and vice-versa. The heavier you are, the worse your symptoms tend to get. PCOS also makes weight loss more difficult, though slimming down is the only real remedy (fertility drugs can help if you want to conceive).

My religion teaches the importance of working on something “without lust of result.” Yet when I started this journey, results were all I cared about. Now I know getting to and maintaining a healthy weight is not a destination, but an ever-evolving set of skills. The better and more consistent you are with the practice, the more results you will see.

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Written by phineas

June 27, 2010 at 2:51 pm

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Another great blog discovery: Zen To Fitness.

Written by phineas

June 26, 2010 at 1:55 pm


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Rinn wrote something on her blog that had a big effect on me.

When it comes to healthy eating, it is time to reconsider my approach. Looking back over what I have written here, I see how hard I have been on myself. I talk about how I have been “good,” or “bad.” On this path, or any, there is no such thing as perfection. There is just the endless refining of a process, the endless practice of new and better habits and, as Rinn talks about, new ways of being kind to oneself.

Written by phineas

June 26, 2010 at 5:07 am

it’s starting to happen.

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I’m at my lowest weight yet.

As for the image, I saw something similar in a vision yesterday. This image also resembles what I saw. I don’t know the meaning yet.

Written by phineas

June 15, 2010 at 12:47 pm

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Feeling okay today, and my eating has been fine. Did a lot of HGA work this afternoon. Beginning to feel spiritually connected again.

Written by phineas

June 14, 2010 at 8:16 pm