"I might wear black for four years straight."

Archive for the ‘gratitude’ Category

drama and color.

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Afternoon writing session with Rinn and another friend at Starbucks. 1500 words on Witch Light. Ate a good dark chocolate and caramel bar, and iced green tea.

A dramatic thunderstorm exploded on my way to the grocery store to buy yellow pom pom flowers. Scrawls of crazy lightning in the sky. I sat in the dark car to wait out the immense downpour and worked out the whole plot synopsis for my next project. I could feel the static electricity crawling all over. Later, the sky was half a sherbet orange and half a resonant dark blue.

Now watching a documentary about Maria Callas called Living And Dying for Art and Love.

P.S. Tentatively, the oil spill is capped.


Written by phineas

July 17, 2010 at 2:58 am

a gym, maybe.

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I didn’t get around to working on Witch Light today. So, let’s focus on gratitude.

• Visited a new gym with my husband and, despite my hangups about people watching me while I exercise, I was able to envision myself feverishly exercising alongside the other women on one of those fancy elliptical machines. But only with a new workout ensemble.

• Went down to clean the litterbox and found that my husband had done most of the work already.

• Two promising books on alchemy arrived in the mail. I haven’t even had time to examine them yet.

• Discovered that I grew up near an old Indian burial ground. Explains a lot.

• Lots of berries and fruit.

• Played several games of Scrabble with my mother, and won a few. We laughed a lot.

• They might actually cap that oil spill. It’s still too early to fully hope, but I let a few rays escape nonetheless.

Written by phineas

July 13, 2010 at 3:52 am

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• My husband helping me out of bed, and giving me water. (I woke up with a back spasm.)

• A long afternoon nap.

• Eating fruit with Nilla Wafers crumbled on top.

• A husband who could stay home with me tonight, after all.

• An interesting thunderstorm that didn’t stay long.

• Misting myself down with some citrus essential oil thing called “Sunshine.”

• Starting the new draft of Witch Light in earnest.

Written by phineas

July 12, 2010 at 3:25 am

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Today was a difficult-ish day, for some reason. So I suppose it is all the more important to do a gratitude list. I don’t have trouble feeling grateful for things per se, but it’s helpful for me to unpack what was useful and unique about each individual day.

• attending the Gnostic Mass and seeing my friends at the local O.T.O., including one who is left-handed like me and may be able to teach me how to knit.

• opening the blinds in my bedroom and watching the Fourth of July fireworks while lying in bed.

• eating a delicious salad with walnuts, green apples, and blue cheese.

• listening to my sister, who just got back from her honeymoon to three of the world’s most beautiful cities, tell me about priceless works of art and the green hills of Scotland.

• having a best friend in whom I can confide anything.

That’s all I can think of right now.

Written by phineas

July 5, 2010 at 2:35 am

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Today’s gratitude:

• Watching a movie on my couch, wrapped in a quilt, leaning against pillows I’d chosen myself. Because of the weather, I felt like it was the start of autumn, not summer.

• Listening to a live Tori Amos concert at Bonnaroo, archived and streamed by NPR. Rediscovering my love for her music, after a break of several years.

• The smell of my husband’s hair. Our carefree trip to the corner store. Seeing the dioramas he’d made for his D&D game.

• Taking care of my tomato plant. Repotting it, cutting away the yellowed leaves.

• Feeling like I am reconnecting with the goddess energy that is my spiritual home.

Tomorrow: I want to make myself vegetables.

Written by phineas

July 3, 2010 at 3:22 am

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Late night. I’m going to do a practice I see recommended everywhere: write down, at the end of the day, five things you are grateful for. Be as specific as possible.

• After a painful walk, remembering I only need to do the best I can.

• Researching alchemy for most of the afternoon. Learning the juicy details about the lives of Paracelsus, Nicholas Flamel, and so on.

• The vase full of sunflowers on my kitchen table.

• Seeing Eclipse with Rinn and her sister. Letting myself get lost in the fun of it.

• Being missed by my husband while I was out.

Written by phineas

July 2, 2010 at 6:07 am