"I might wear black for four years straight."

light and darkness.

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Wrote 1200 words on Witch Light this afternoon. Had a three-way writing chat with Rinn and another writer. Strength in numbers. I hope the online writing group will become a regular thing.

My motivation to eat well is at a low ebb. I’m working at being good to myself nonetheless.

Image from Manly P. Hall’s Secret Teachings.


Written by phineas

July 3, 2010 at 6:52 pm


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Today’s gratitude:

• Watching a movie on my couch, wrapped in a quilt, leaning against pillows I’d chosen myself. Because of the weather, I felt like it was the start of autumn, not summer.

• Listening to a live Tori Amos concert at Bonnaroo, archived and streamed by NPR. Rediscovering my love for her music, after a break of several years.

• The smell of my husband’s hair. Our carefree trip to the corner store. Seeing the dioramas he’d made for his D&D game.

• Taking care of my tomato plant. Repotting it, cutting away the yellowed leaves.

• Feeling like I am reconnecting with the goddess energy that is my spiritual home.

Tomorrow: I want to make myself vegetables.

Written by phineas

July 3, 2010 at 3:22 am

Posted in gratitude


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Late night. I’m going to do a practice I see recommended everywhere: write down, at the end of the day, five things you are grateful for. Be as specific as possible.

• After a painful walk, remembering I only need to do the best I can.

• Researching alchemy for most of the afternoon. Learning the juicy details about the lives of Paracelsus, Nicholas Flamel, and so on.

• The vase full of sunflowers on my kitchen table.

• Seeing Eclipse with Rinn and her sister. Letting myself get lost in the fun of it.

• Being missed by my husband while I was out.

Written by phineas

July 2, 2010 at 6:07 am

“who would recognize the answers if given?”

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Found in Manly P. Hall’s The Secret Teachings of All Ages.

Written by phineas

July 1, 2010 at 8:44 pm

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Another thousand words on Witch Light.

Written by phineas

July 1, 2010 at 7:47 pm

Posted in writing

the meaning of obstacles.

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Frater POS did a nice job today clarifying a tricky issue for a reader:

I think Crowley wrote that if a person isn’t doing his true will, the Universe will constantly put up obstacles and resist your efforts. The inverse implication is that if you are doing your true will obstacles will not arise. This is too simplistic. More than likely as I can’t recall the exact source, I am doing his words an injustice.

There are a lot of subtleties to your question that no one can answer for you, especially one that does not know you. However, I can share some general thoughts.

When I was with my first group, there are all sorts of obstacles. In my second there were all sorts of difficulties. Obstacles are meant to prevent a path. Difficulties make you stronger and wiser.

(Emphasis mine.)

image by motionographer.

Written by phineas

July 1, 2010 at 1:58 am

Posted in spiritual life, thelema

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I finally lost some weight. Some real weight. At 238.4, I am officially, solidly in the 230s.

Now, back to not lusting after results.

Written by phineas

June 30, 2010 at 4:05 pm